Today I made 12 banana bread muffins. I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten at least 7.
Not that I’m actually requesting or expecting actual answers. I’m just sending it out there hoping that I will get a sign from the universe. You know like something that will bring about self assurance or just the magical ability to just not give a shit.
I haven’t always been this anxious, but nowadays I worry over the smallest things especially socially. With friends, do I go for a hug or a straight up hello/goodbye head nod? When meeting new people, do I go for a hand shake or leave it at a wave. Do I Offer to pay for their coffee or go Dutch?
Maybe it’s not so much anxiety but instead not having confidence in my actions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not always a nervous wreck (maybe I am) but if something/someone matters to me the tiniest bit (and I mean tiny), I over analyse and try to predict the outcome of a situation before it even happens.
I used to think I had really good social skills, I’m not sure where they went. Who knew that was a skill you could lose? But like I mentioned earlier, it might not be that I have lost the skills, I’ve just lost the ability to not give a shit and let things happen.
So here’s to not giving a shit!
In other news… I’m going to Glastonbury this year for the first time!
annnd I will be going on the coach by myself….so hopefully my social skills are back by then or else i will be pretending to be asleep the entire way there.